By Rod Johnson

Rodric believes Moroni included special instruction for Modern times and wants to share his unique perspective the same way Moroni shared in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
Showing posts with label african american. Show all posts
Showing posts with label african american. Show all posts

Blackness Explored


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On The African American Experience

Aside from the hurt and bitter feelings of some die-hard Mitt Romney supporters and the white-hot anger of the Anti-Obama people, electing President Obama for a second term created history again for the American people.
During Black History Month from 2008 forward, it can be said that a man of African heritage ruled the most powerful nation in the world for eight years! He ruled a nation where less than 200 years previously his African heritage would have pegged him a slave. Just 40 years shy of the Civil Rights Movement did a minority take office!
It does not matter that President Obama is a Democrat or that he is bi-racial. Because there is a shred of African in him, he is considered African American according to American racial tradition. He was born in America, no matter what the people say opposite about that. He lived his life mostly as an African American and will be listed in the annals of time as an African American President! During the first election, however, it was not so.
What the president did for Americans is to introduce the notion that race should not matter.

Black By Default

Over the course of the years President Obama served the country, the attitudes of many African Americans changed towards him.
Apparently, the fact that his father is not American and actually from an African nation means that Barack Obama, the president, has no African American stock in his genes.
He is the first generation, and his ancestors did not share in the humiliation of the African American historical struggle OUTSIDE of the Civil Rights Movement.
No matter how the dial is twisted, the president is of African descent and can call himself African American or Black, but he cannot claim the struggle that generational groups of African Americans claim.
The president knows his ancestral roots and has a connection to his heritage if he so desires. He has a brother residing overseas to connect to his father’s homeland. President Obama’s connection to true African American culture is through his wife Michelle who is actually a generational American of African descent.
What the president did for Americans is to introduce the notion that race should not matter. It seems that African Americans are so psychologically distressed culturally as a group that they will African-Americanize any and every person with African bloodlines—whether from slavery ancestrally or Africa itself!

Tiger Woods

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It is no surprise that so many shades of African Americans exist with so many hair textures. Bi-racial and multi-racial people who have African ancestry are not allowed to express their unique heritage without ridicule. Even if, say, Tiger Woods says he is not African American, that group will claim him by default.
In 1997, Tiger woods attempted to except himself from the African-American community at large and defined himself. Silly man!
People are not allowed to define themselves in American society! Regardless of what he decided to call his ethnic and racial disposition, most of the world labels him Black.
President Obama slyly avoided racial remarks about his origin--the thing that Tiger Woods should have done on the Oprah Winfrey Show in 1997.
When asked by Oprah did having the label of "African American" thrown at him bother him he admitted, “It does...I'm just who I am, whoever you see in front of you.”
"I'm just who I am, whoever you see in front of you."
The issue with Tiger Woods statement is that he did not leave it at that. He proceeds to describe what he IS when what people SEE in front of them is a light-complexioned Black man.
President Obama did what Mr. Woods should have done. He let people describe what they saw and did not pander to any direction. People saw, eventually, an African American president; no, an American president with African-American ethnicity and racial social classification.

Black People Claim Everybody

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Why all this grabby behavior by this Group of Americans?

The simple answer is the past is not a proud one for this group. Millions of people were purchased by Europeans and taken to the American continent against their wills.
In The Truth about Being Black in America can be found a perspective on the psychological implication of this past of servitude. In it is a term coined for the article called Collective Social Regard or CSR. CSR can be applied to any group but fits specifically well with African Americans because of their unique, singular and peculiar history.
Since the past is such a negative matter for this group of Americans, it claims as much of the present and future that it can to fill the void of cultural heritage.
In America, some of these citizens go so far as to try to create alternate cultural heritages to differ extremely from the majority, Caucasians. The irony about diverging in such a way is that the new cultures are based on European values, and not those of the mysterious Africans forced to emigrate in ships.
African Americans are a uniquely American group through and through. This group has a heritage that even the Native Americans can not equal because their ancestors migrated here by land and sea—by choice!
No other group was forced as an entire race of thousands of ethnicities to relocate, as were African Americans with the additional suppression of their culture and language. Few other groups or races. if any other. in American history survived cultural genocide committed against them, as the African American.
The election of President Obama for two terms proves that racial barriers can be overcome by minorities grounded in his or her history and comfortable with his or her heritage as is President Obama. Culturally, he and his family are similar enough to the majority to appeal to their humanity.
In addition, as a bi-racial man in a European culture, President Obama had to bear his burden of ridicule from both Black people and White people. He had to decide with which group he identified most and hopefully be accepted into that group. He struggled with identity issues and found that he identified with African Americans. His struggle was real and personal though his heritage was not of slave stock.
Will the son (or daughter) of a slave ever be president of these United States? Will a person who has ancestral stories of sharecropping after the Emancipating Proclamation was put forth by the Great and Honorable President Abraham Lincoln gain such lofty heights? Does it matter if that ever happens because a minority won the race? The answer to those questions depends on the perspective from which the reader views these words.
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When Americans voted, they voted for a president of the United States of America.

Americans did not vote for a Black president. Barack Obama did not run as a Black candidate. In meetings of some African Americans around the nation, certain expressions can be heard that are acridly describing the president calling him the head N**ger in charge.
Statements by comedians who say, “You know how WE do,” implying that there is some difference in the methods of enjoyment, style, life or integrity of Blacks as opposed to other races and ethnicities.
There well may be many cultural differences. Those differences are not a conviction that the “WE” are honorable and praiseworthy people.
President Obama means so much to African-Americans because he represents something good and positive like unto Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Conclusion

The former president will always be to African-Americans the face of freedom in America. Maybe one day, some minority woman of Mexican ancestry will rise to popularity and represent the Latinos. Will the Latinos accept this person if he or she is born in the US Puerto Rico, with one parent from Spain and the other parent with Mexican heritage? For now, the spotlight is on President Trump, which to many seems like a step backward in "post-racist" America.

Shooting of Black Men

The fatalities of Black men paraded around the news and within the causes of minority groups to satisfy popular media instead of correcting the problem of how to change the antecedent stimulus only precipitates a problem that will lead to cultural wars and more rioting.



February 26, 2012, marks the tragic end of the life of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin at the hands of a neighborhood watch member, George Zimmerman.

What a travesty of a great program to protect our neighborhoods--marred by such a situation, reminding us that no system of protection exists without the flaws of humanity twisting their ways into the works. What a tragedy in the loss of life; one to the grave and the other to social derision.
As unfortunate as the death of this Florida teen is and ever will be, opponents of the “Stand Your Ground” policies that permit citizens to use force, deadly force to protect themselves in the event of threats use the Martin family tragedy to advance rhetoric to remove it.

Further, this tragedy is complicated by racially charged groups jockeying for a voice in the matter to claim Zimmerman executed the youth due to racial motives rather than shooting while defending himself. Zimmerman was on trial a year later.

A year later and after blatant tarnishing of Trayvon Martin’s memory extended to the august chambers of the United States legislators as one congressperson, Bobby Rush, donned apparel similar to the youth in protest to racial profiling—though the rules of Congress prohibit such demonstrations has faded into history other stories of violence paint the American collective mind with sorrow and anxiousness.
The fatalities of Black men paraded around the news and within the causes of minority groups to satisfy popular media instead of correcting the problem of how to change the antecedent stimulus only precipitates a problem that will lead to cultural wars and more rioting.

Gov. Deval Patrick, A continued plague of social warfare?

Race may have been a factor in the slaying of the men by police officers. The societal evidence that a large percentage of criminals in the justice system are minorities, with an overwhelming percentage disproportionately African Americans when compared to the 12 to 15 percent Blacks comprise of the US population supports the misconception that Blacks are inherently criminal. Michael Brown and Ferguson... Nothing has changed.
Historical and cultural norms have not progressed enough to assuage the long-held perceptions that people of color are inherently suspicious from the days of racial purity popularly held by the British influences of early America.

These deeply rooted cultural blots bleed into every aspect of American society and every cultural group—lending to the suspicion of minority groups that Caucasians secretly desire to oppress them.
Racism exists on both fronts. Minorities bastardize historical racism with comparisons to implied affronts, while Caucasians diminish or dismiss true instances of racism based on the rancorous claims of minorities that seem to surface so often.
Though morally unpopular, racism is not against the law. We are free to detest whom we will. When we attempt to uphold racist beliefs with action against any group to harm, then it is illegal. America is scarred with prejudice and change comes slowly, very much so.
“I’m sick of unarmed black men being shot by police. We have a great challenge in this country acknowledging the extraordinary progress we have made on race relations ... And at the same time, acknowledging how much remains to be done.” Boston Herald.

Racism?

Zimmerman may have acted on a preconceived belief about Black men in certain apparel when he followed the boy around the neighborhood in opposition to the 911 dispatcher’s advice before he reported defending himself; however, translating his crime into a race hate crime is at best suspect. 

Can the same be said about the officers who choked Eric Garner until he passed away? Was his resistance to the police because of cultural norms that led to his death? Did Officer Daniel Pantaleo act on latent racist triggers or was the psychological impact of American culture in play?

Certain elements must be present to justify that accusation. What motivated him internally cannot be proven unless Daniel Pantaleo specifically states that his motivations for using his arrest technique on Garner were because of his African American heritage, or other evidentiary items surface.
In the Zimmerman/Martin situation, no one reported that Zimmerman is multiracial making it a minority-on-minority hate crime proven beyond doubt in a court of law that Trayvon did attack George and not a White against Black hate crime. Though such distinction is judicially moot, social perceptions treat the same matter differently.
In many reports, the items found with the Martin youth are stated with an undercurrent of accusation that lethal force was aggressive. The lack of witnesses to the incident and the psycho-social implication of Zimmerman’s name without reference to his racial identity automatically implant the idea in the collective psyche of America to take a position to fill the gap of information—for or against Zimmerman. A year later, has any of that changed?
This incident did not become the chagrin to the nation further socially. Rational people recognized racial potential evident to the case and avoided it. America has other things to worry about. Trayvon's family is still grieving. Thousands of families grieve because of the tactics of the policing systems in the United States.

The problem the police face is whether to respond with deadly force or not. When a person resists arrest as did many of the fatalities and most arrest ending with brutality, what are the cops to do?

Should they allow themselves to be killed or wounded? Mark Collins was shot and wounded in the line of duty by a Black man, Sheldon Leftenant. Collins was shot in his neck and hip. Rushed by helicopter to Stony Brook University Hospital, he lived.

Are Black men being hunted? Leftenant is gang affiliated.  Are police officers being hunted? Did Sheldon allegedly shoot the officer in fear?
Death is tragic by itself. If Zimmerman’s claim is true, which it is decided that it is by the courts, he should not suffer for protecting himself against an aggressor just because that aggressor happens to be Black, and neither should cops suffer. BUT... they should be investigated pervasively!

The “Stand Your Ground” policy should never be in question, but the motives of those who would employ it to veil criminal acts are still out there!
How does it compare to the killing of unarmed Black men by police officers--something that has not decreased over time and is receiving more news? Did those police officers feel threatened by the men because of what they wore? Were the hands up to surrender a sign of aggression. Either way, another minority is shot and killed.

I, Donald Trump

I wasn't going to be public about this, but I changed my mind. When I went to the polls to vote for president, I received a strong impression to vote for Donald Trump. I did not do it. 

I do not think that I disliked any presidential candidate more than him. I did not like him as a person before he even considered running for president. He, and I must say it honestly, is a Jerk to me. HE IS A JERK!
There is no BUT in this. He is a jerk. I have no idea why I received a prompting to vote for him except I prayed that God would put the right person in the presidential office for the job. I agree with his moral stances on marriage and family--issues like abortion. I just don't like HIM!
I could not listen to that prompting. It might have been God trying to tell me not to judge the man for his past. It didn’t occur to me until I read on Facebook under one of my favorite authors views a responder who experienced the same thing I did. She was prompted to vote for Trump. I think she was able to follow through with it.  I am so prejudiced against him because of his behavior. When he is sworn into office, I will do my best to speak honorably of him, but I had to get it out that I hate his behavior. I am ashamed that he will represent me--especially if he does not shelve his bad behavior.

Why I did not Like Trump


I did not like Trump because I think he is rude, that's it. I do not dislike Bill Clinton, who is also a womanizer. Bill is not rude, though. I say all this because I am going to repent and pray that God helps me to not harbor so much contempt for this man.
I care that he might be racist. I care. I have lived, worked and worshiped with racist people my entire life. I expect people to be that way now. I have behaved that way on occasion. I think I dislike Trump so much because inside I am just like him and not man enough to admit it, even though I might have just done that. We often hate in others the weaknesses that are evident in ourselves.

It is really myself I Hate?


I do not celebrate such thoughts. If I am a racist, I Know I am working to change through the atonement of Jesus Christ, who will help me. Because I am a Black person, I can get away with writing this or saying it. I know I can because I have in the past. I want to say I DO NOT speak of any race in derision in public or private. I do, though. I joked about being Black in Church on Sunday! In church! I did the same thing about White people—knowing that my categorical statements were just jokes. But there is some truth behind every joke, whether it is my truth or a societal truth. So, I reflect on whether I genuinely harbor racist feelings toward Whites and others or even other Blacks—it is possible.  
I could not vote for Trump because I am like him, or what I assume him to be—a racist, misogynistic, jerk. If I am really that, then maybe I should cleanse my inner vessel more so that I can see Trump clear enough. I don’t want to dislike myself, so I project on a scapegoat other than THE SCAPEGOAT, Jesus.

Charity of the Believer

Now, I have to give Trump the same love as I give myself. Sometimes it is hard to want to live my life as a Christian. I do not abuse myself for fleeting thoughts or misplaced statements. Why should I insult Trump for misplaced words? I do my best to keep my opinions hidden from others so they will not dislike me. I don’t tell people who are ugly, stupid, nasty and such that they are those things because I care about how it makes them feel, even it I think it is true. Wrong.
I do say my thoughts sometimes. I put my foot in my mouth more than I care to admit. That is why I find myself smiling and making jokes so much. I am trying not to be taken seriously so that people will dismiss my words if I slip up.
My heart is still heavy because of what I did almost 20 years ago as a missionary in South Africa to another missionary who showed me a picture of his sister. I told him she was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. It was not right, and there is more to the story, but does that not sound like Donald Trump?
I have repented and begged that person’s forgiveness, but I have still not forgiven myself completely. That is why I cannot stand Donald Trump. He is just like me. Well, maybe not just like.

I am trying to change. Maybe Donald is too.

Getting Personal With Christianity: Who is my neighbor?


Conflict resolution has to start with somebody. It might as well be me. 

One of my neighbors blasted vulgar music throughout the entire cul-de sac. I could hear the rancorous lyrics with all the windows closed as they rattled through.

I opened the front door and it assaulted me! I screamed across the cul-de sac to no avail until I said: "Cut that Crap off!"

Two young people, one adult and the other a teen approached. The young woman calmly expressed "My momma pays rent just like you do over here. I will turn it down, but not off."

Upset, I determined rent has nothing to do with blasting the neighborhood with profane music.
"Blast your music in your rented house then," I spit back at her.
As she spoke I smelled liquor and knew that I would not be able to reason with her. "You reek of liquor," came out of my mouth with such venom and judgment that she started to become emotionally volatile.

I warned them, "I am calling the police!" She continued to use vile language because I had upset her when she had approached me with a measure of reason on her side. "Get off," I said pointing to the yard of my rented property.
I was amazed at level of anger and how wickedly I behaved toward my neighbor. I even had my shirt off like I was going to fight!

The boy that was with her had concern in his eyes because we knew each other, but I dismissed that because of the woman cursing at me for telling her what to do at her mother's rented house while standing in front of my rented house.

I called the police, 911. I told them what was going on and was directed to the non-emergency line.
The NON-emergency line! It was not an emergency.

I thought about the police coming to my rented house or going to their rented house. We are both Americans with African descent. They were drinking and playing loud music. I was upset about it, that young woman had become crass and combative.

Those young boys at that house were large, tall, Black boys--intimidating to those who may not know them. They fit the profile for cops to shoot as has been in the news. I did not know what type of cop would pitch up if I called--the nice ones that ask them to keep the music down or the authoritative ones that would agitate things further.

I changed my mind and repented. I waited until I knew I was calm and went out to where there were about seven young men and women talking.
I saw Ree, the intoxicated and easily agitated woman to whom I spoke and apologized for my threatening language. I made peace. We are neighbors.

I can stand up for decency without involving anger and the police.
The last thing I want is to be the means of sending someone to jail or worse, death!

Black lives do matter. I did not understand what that meant until today. I don't agree with the organization that sponsors the big national movement, but I do agree that my neighbor's life matters more to me than for her to go to jail because she is inebriated and not fully intellectually there while being Black.

When I think of Black Lives, I think of all people of color. I think of my son and his friends also, who are Caucasian. My son's life matters to me and to them. His Black life matters. We are all connected by our associations. All lives matter.

My neighbor's life matters enough to try and resolve the issue peacefully rather than call the police immediately like did.

My neighborhood has seen enough conflict without bringing in the police. The police are out every night trying to catch fleeing criminals and I had the audacity to call them because my neighbor played her music too loudly!

The scriptures tell me to love my neighbor as I love myself. I would not want someone to call the police on me for playing my music too loudly. I would want that irritated person to come to me and tell me to turn it down respectfully.

I did not do that, but I made amends and repented of attempting to treat my neighbor differently than I would want to be treated.
O my people, beware lest there shall arise contentions among you, and ye list to obey the evil spirit... there is a wo pronounced upon him who listeth to obey that spirit; for if he listeth to obey him, and remaineth and dieth in his sins, the same drinketh damnation to his own soul; for he receiveth for his wages an everlasting punishment, having transgressed the law of God contrary to his own knowledge... Mosiah 2:32-33 
If I had continued to list to obey the evil spirit of pride that wanted to avenge my wounded ego that Ree used foul language and was inebriated publicly blasting loud music, events that followed could have radically changed her life and mine.

I would have died in my sins--figuratively first, of course --because hatred would rear its ugly head each time we saw each other. The kids would have felt awkward to associate anymore since the youngest son and daughter of that family went to school and Young Women's activities at church with my daughters. I could have started a rift that would destroy my own family's life.

My punishment for giving into this pride would have been no peace. I talked causally with the youth for about 20 minutes following my apology. I was introduced to another neighbor that I did not know. I was showered with attention and hails of respect.

One young man said that most people would have just called the police rather than talk to them. They all were shocked that I of all the neighbors went out to tell them anything about the music or the police.

I found that they held me, and my family in high esteem. I did not know that, but because I repented, I found out something good about my neighbors that I did not know before or would not have known had I crossed that line into feuding.

They are people. All we have to do is speak respectfully and try to come to a mutual agreement so that we can all feel comfortable in the neighborhood.

Ree, ol' crazy self, told me that she was ready for the police. She, of course, was drunk. I noticed that the other people there, mostly youth, were not drunk or drinking.  I at least know now that they are not bad people as has been rumored to me--at least were not towards me. That is a different issue, though....



Diabetes Leads to Health Problems: Be Warned. The pictures are very Graphic of my Wound


 Off to the right of these words, you will see the result of a abscess the formed on my right foot and became infected.

Okay, actually, what you are seeing is the result of two surgeries and a wound vac.

My foot has healed to a degree now where I can walk, but the scare still remains. Twice I had to go to a doctor and have surgery on my foot because of my weak immune system and the disease that makes it so, Diabetes.

Diabetes is a chronic physical illness that describes a malfunction in the way the body's blood uses sugar. Genetically, I was predisposed to this disease.

There are many of you out thee, African Americans, Native Americans, Samoans--all Pacific Islanders, who are more predisposed than others to developing Type II Diabetes.

If you are not eating healthily and exercising regularly the likelihood of something like what you see to the right happening to you at a younger age is higher. This happened to me in my thirties.

If you are fat, not overweight, fat... you are at risk.

Look, a muscular person is overweight. You know you are not just overweight if your belly is hanging out and you have enough tire around your waist to supply the needs of a small city!

Eat right. Exercise. Don't go to the gym one time in the whole year and lie to yourself that because you keep a membership you are tying to stay fit. Actually go. Find something to do to get moving a few hours a day.

Your doctor will tell you to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day.  Do more. The only reason they tell us to do that 30 minutes is because telling us to get out for a few hours will cause us to mentally freeze.

You know good and well that thirty minutes of activity a day will not cause you to be fit. What it will do is stop you from being a couch potato. Find a health level you want to maintain, and maintain it before it gets too late and you end up like I have with diabetic health complications.

Do not let genetics and an unhealthy life lead you down a medically frustrating road or even death.

It took months to get back to walking and is taking years to get to a physical condition to take care of myself.

It is not just the wounds that get you because they heal. It is the emotional losses that come into play when you cannot work in the way to which your are accustomed.

It comes into play when you loose the ability to run or jump because the feeling in your extremities has diminished. I know people have found ways to overcome limitations, but with diabetes one complication comes after another. They compound after so many years and even start to be the cause of new issues themselves!.

To my Black people, my Latino and Polynesian people and to my Native American people... We are all more prone to this disease of Diabetes. Be warned! Diabetes is just the BEGINNING of our woes if we don't catch it early and postpone it--even prevent it.

To my kids, eat right or you will end up like daddy.



Getting Personal With Christianity: Spiritual Apostasy # 8

One of the most depressing things that I recently learned is that one of the youths that I watched grow up and get married in the temple no longer believes in God.

Many people I know over the years that have left the church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for one reason or another. Most of them have left due to transgression--the ones that I know, which includes family members.

Leaving the church is one thing; but denying God...

It is different with this couple that I mention--it is different knowing that one if not both deny God. I did not grow up with these people. It is worse than that; I watched them mature and become beautiful young adults. I participated in ordinances with them and received edification from their testimonies.

It feels like I just discovered that my own child rejected God!

How does that affect me?

The Explanation

At one time, a brief time, I did not believe there was a god. I could not fathom there being one because of the lack of understanding I had of the Plan of Salvation at the time, but I did not know that I lacked knowledge then.

I thought of how cruel it would be for some supreme being, who could be some malevolent beast that watched in amusement while humanity suffered. I was afraid most of the time because I could not come to grips on what to think! I thought or believed many things depending on the mood or book I was reading.

I believed that there were intelligent beings who planted humanity here as a colony and forgot about us through some great cataclysm or maybe they monitored our progress for some unknown purpose for the future.  I later saw an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where that was the origin of all the humanoid species. I really am a Star Trek Geek! I loved that episode.

I then thought that there was nothing. Evolution happened on this planet and through natural selection, the Homo sapiens beat out all of the other humanoids believed to have inhabited this sphere. I read books and snippets on the web about how the different races evolved, first the Negro, then the Caucasoid and then the Mongoloid.

I trusted the sources of my information and believed that the Asian races were the best of humanity being the youngest form of human evolution. I thought of my own race as the legacy group that evolved from the apes. I am not going to go into the therapy that I had to have after that.

I was confused and believed almost anything, except in a god. That made no sense that some magical being existed. I would prefer a Superman or a Batman to that!

I know how I felt without God in my life. I felt free! I felt free to do anything and be anything! I was the master of my own life and I answered to no person, until...

...until I realized that there were other people out there who controlled my life and that I was the master of nothing

...until I started truly being affected by the racist human origins teachings I had read.

...until I started feeling alone and lost in a sea of philosophies!

Without God in my life, I was my own source of strength or lack thereof.

The Weird Jealousy

I capitulated and began to believe in a supreme manifestation. I sought out spiritualism. I finally settled on Islam, because, I NEEDED to worship something!  I could not live without a god.

After a string of events and manifestations, I was converted back to Christianity and received an undeniable witness that God is alive and well and very much in control of this tiny planet.

One of my issues, my nagging problem was I could not make it without God. It became an issue with me needing God! I would feel like I am cheating life when I prayed to God and received answers to my prayers and divine help in a hard situation. I would dismiss many blessings as coincidence when I was without God in my life, but now, I could not.

I felt ashamed when I prayed over a test or to overcome a hard problem. I was ashamed because when I found God, He answered all, and I mean ALL of my prayers immediately!

Anything I prayed about, I received! I am not talking about getting answers that I can see the Hand of God in if I worked backwards. I would ask for money and I would get money. I asked for my car to start working once, and it started working.

I was ashamed! Other people did not need God like I did, I thought. They could excel with no prayers, which fortified in me that I was the weak legacy chain in human evolution. My ancestors were slaves because of a divine curse I was taught in my Protestant church. I thought little of that until I joined my current church and the priesthood ban was added to that teaching--along with the false teachings that we hedge around it to justify it having happened.

Presently...

The weird jealousy I had when I first converted to God came back! I actually started think again about how I could not live without a god. 

I did not think that I was less of a person for that truth, but I did have familiar feelings of mourning. I felt betrayed by the missionaries who taught me for telling me to speak to God for the first time. I could not go back. 

I know there is God and I could not un-know it! I could deny it. I could ignore it; but I know it. 

I recall once wanting to go back to my without-God-in-my-life days and feeling angry that God was there answering my prayers! I tried, but I could not ignore the fact that He revealed Himself to me and an unmistakable way!

I was jealous of people who did not believe in God. They were in ignorant bliss. I longed for that! Life is some much simpler when there is no purpose to it.

I accept that this life is not all that there is, but sometimes it is so easy to wish that it was. I think of that couple that I saw married in the temple making those promises... I wonder if they ever believed in God.

I wonder that because I tried not to believe in Him. Now that I know He is there I need Him. He is the only One who can help me to continue living my life in a productive way following this life.

I still think sometimes, "What if it is all a great big lie!"

I then remember that no one forced me to talk to God. I went to Him seeking and He revealed Himself to me. I know that I can do things where I can make it so that I cannot feel His Holy Spirit. I can make it so that I cannot hear the answers to my prayers. Heck, if I stop praying I can make it so that I doubt ever having an intimate experience with Him.

I like myself with God in my life though. I hurt that my young friends are no longer believers. They seem happy though. They seem settled. They seem good. I can only pray that they may find Him some way. 

I am confident that I will not let go of my faith in Jesus Christ and ever deny my Heavenly Father. I am confident!

I know that it is possible. Cain did it. Judas Iscariot did it. Millions do it. I pray that I will endure to the end. I expect to.

Related Articles.


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It has not always been easy to say that I am a Christian because I have not always considered myself one. Doubt has played a large part in questioning what I was supposed to believe as I grew up. 

Getting Personal With Christianity: The Good Son

Just in case there are any wonder-ers as I am sure there are, this is not regarding the movie advertised to the right. The Good Son was a good ...


Missionary Training Center Christmas

Salt Lake Airport

I step off the airplane for the first time in Salt Lake City. I feel extremely nervous. It’s my first time so far away from home. It’s actually real! I actually am an ordained minister of Christ, a missionary!
"I can hardly believe it!” I say to myself.
The airport is busy and bustling with activity. It’s December 8, 1998, and travelers from all over are leaving and arriving—getting to their families. I spoke with Russell before I left Georgia and I know where he told me to meet him. Russell is the guy who introduced me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a missionary. I want to be like him, a missionary. Now I am! I walk along looking around and marveling at how homogeneous the people are in Utah.
“There is no way that Russell will miss me in this crowd. I stand out,” I think as I arrive at the specified rendezvous point. Minutes seem like hours as I wait.
“Rodric,” I hear over the crowd. “Rodric, is that you?” I look frantically through the throng. Warmth and relief overcame me as I see Russell Sheridan and his family hailing me. He baptized me only six years earlier and now I stood before him waiting to do the same to some other fortunate soul.
We hurry toward one another and embrace. He holds me tightly and I return the embrace as I puzzle at the former Elder Sheridan. He is shorter now. He has little hair. This is not the picture I was expecting. Nevertheless, it is my missionary! I remember the smile. I remember the voice. I remember him, and tears start to form, but not fall. I'm  spending the rest of the day with Russell and his family. I meet my missionary's parents. They treat me like royalty! It is all too much for my simple brain.

The MTC
Six of my Twelve District members in the MTC

The next day, Russell took me to the MTC, Missionary Training Center, after breakfast with his family. After the speech given by a leader there, we were instructed to exit different sides of the room.

I looked at my missionary and began to cry. I felt so small and insignificant as Russell left me in that large meeting room with tears in his eyes. He seemed so happy that I, his “Golden Contact,” decided to serve the Lord as a missionary.
I did not want him to leave. I really discovered how alone I felt when he left. He was the last bit of family I had before turning completely to the mercy of the MTC. With my mind riddled with rumors of what returned missionaries told me about the MTC experience, I prepared for the worst. I thought the people in the MTC would revile me because of my race—based on other rumors I heard about Utah members of the Church from Georgia Latter-day Saints.
The orange dork dot on my lapel informed every other missionary that I had just arrived. I was very conscious of my race as I looked around and saw no other person who looked like me. A rather tall missionary approached me. He must have seen my bewildered look. I assumed the harassment would begin when he reach out to me. He grabbed my bags and begin to help me get to my boarding (dorm housing).

I was extremely intimidated by my surroundings, but there was no reason for me to fear.  No hazing. As I walked the halls to receive the items for my stay at the MTC, I felt a spirit of goodwill, but still felt apprehensive. With an orange dork dot attached to my lapel, I received considerable positive attention. I was astonished by the help I received just carrying my belongings to my boarding.
Once there, I was introduced to the other orange-dork-dotted lapel wearers who were in my district in the MTC. My district consisted of 12 elders. I was the only non-White and Black person. Being from the South, I felt awkward at the situation and assumed smug attitudes would abound. Wrong! Not only did smug attitudes not exist, but the greatest filial love I could imagine prevailed!
As a district, we became acquainted. I felt particularly happy about my companion Elder Jenson. I thought of all, I had the best one. I was correct. He was the best one for me. Of al, he encouraged me the most and provided the extra support I needed to get over my fear of racism.

Leadership

I needed to overcome several other fears; so, I was placed in a situation that I feared the most, leadership. I was called as the district leader. Bells went off in my head as I reluctantly accepted the assignment. I felt that since I was the only non-White, and especially a  Black person, this assignment would cause some problems. I knew that one of the other elders had his heart set on being the district leader. 
I stammered a bit as the branch president awaited my answer. "Say yes," my branch president told me. I did. Elder Jensen assured me that all would be well, and he would support me. He actually became my hero. The elder that wanted to become the district leader cornered me following the call and told me that I only received that assignment because I lacked proper leadership skills. He sat with a disappointed look on his face. He said that he already had leadership skills so he did not need the calling.
I felt a bit hurt by his remarks, but instead of insulting him, as I would have in the past, the Spirit led me to say, "Maybe you’re right.” He was right. I felt more love for him. I expected, however, a larger negative sentiment to be mutual throughout the district. Incorrect. These brethren of mine loved me as before—even that elder who correctly knew I needed leadership training.

I Told Them To Close Their Eyes
Lights At Temple Square

Christmas approached, and packages and letters crowded the MTC. Celebrations and firesides filled the schedules. In our district meeting, a special thing occurred as the Spirit moved me. I spoke and words similar to these came out:
“2000 years ago, 12 men sat with the Savior at the last supper and listened to his words. We are 12 elders as they, and we sit here together to also hear His words."
I told them to close their eyes and continued, “Imagine that those 12 are us and that we sit in Christ’s presence hearing His words, and receiving His counsel.”
I went on to say more that I cannot write. Suffice it to say, tears sprang from a few and the spirit edified us. I told them at the end of that meeting "That is what Christmas is really about." I could feel the love that these brethren had for God, for each other, and for me.
As Christmas approached and came, all the elders received gifts and postage from family. I did not. On Christmas day, I felt my spirit decline. I did not get to speak to my parents because as soon as I left for the MTC, they left on Christmas vacation to Miami. It was my first Christmas away from my family.
My companion and I went out and returned later that day from an errand. On my desk were gifts from my brethren. Each one of them gave me of the gifts their families had given them. I again felt the love of God in my heart, and the words “That is what Christmas is really about” returned to me.
We truly are the hands of Christ. Christmas means to give a gift out of love, as did Heavenly Father in giving his only begotten son. I may have asked my brethren to close their eyes to imagine being with Christ, but they helped me open mine to see He is here with us through our good works.

Memory Piece. Great Book. Read it. Buy it. Drama.

Hello my cyber-land readers!

Okay, yes that was a "special" greeting but I thought I'd try it out. I wrote another book.

My first book I think I spent about $400 on getting the word out. For this one, I spent nothing even though I enjoyed writing and reading this second book more than the first.

Well, Memory Piece is my baby! I have had the idea for this book in my head for almost 20 years. I was too immature to actually put the book together because I had to write about things I was unfamiliar with at the time. My, how times have changed. I am familiar with death, marriage, heartache and pain now--all the right ingredients to write a drama!

I first started the book day dreaming about how I wanted my life to be when I matured to adulthood. As I wrote, however, I quickly changed my mind as mayhem began to filter into the story. So why the title Memory Piece? I wanted to show how one singular event in life can cause a domino effect--whether for good or bad.

We all make choices that lead us down certain paths. We all have experiences that influences our choices. I wanted to capture those experiences and choices back to the first experience and choice of my main characters to show how the choices we make compound a situation.

Check out the book at Amazon.com. It is worth the read and safe. The first chapter is a bit steamy. I believe in PG rated writing. If you want something that does not need to have profanity in it to communicate the drama, I'm your man! That is what I have to say today--okay? CLICK FOR BOOK










Doing Right When not Wanting to Do at All

Sometimes tragedy or serious situations make us reflect on what is really in our hearts Cyber Family.

I am so happy that when I reflected, I found love in my heart. Adversity and challenges really reveal when we are the best and tests our integrity.

If you feel a little down because you did not feel like listening that extra hour to your kids talk about that cool TV show--but did it anyway--don't. In your heart you truly care about that person and are willing to put your own needs aside for their benefit. This applies to any act of service we decide on our own to complete against our selfish desires.

I took my mother to have knee surgery Cyber friends.

I did not want to do it because I did not want to wake up early enough, but I put my selfish feelings aside for a moment. I am glad I had the privilege of seeing her off because I was able to talk to her on the way to the surgery center.

The thoughts of something going wrong made me focus on her and how wonderful she has made my life.So , while my mom was getting her operation, I had my own operation to go along with it. It is called operation acknowledgement. I will acknowledge that I am not always selfless in thought, but I can be in action and character.

What we think will bend to the will of what we do in the long-run. That has been my experience. That's my story and I am sticking with it!

Check out This Article about Healing