Place of Discovery

In life sometimes we can be refugees or outcasts due to persistent struggle. It is a strange way to look at things being that so many people are refugees seeking amnesty from one country or another. Individually as we seek amnesty from the trials of life, some of us seek amnesty in a drug or an alcoholic beverage finding it to be a trap worse than the thing originally causing a need for sanctuary!

Sweet as it can be, life Will have challenges, challenges potentially able to chase away the choicest chances of renewal and reward down paths that prove difficult to course correct. Notions arising that lead us to seek escape from life because of with what we are challenged overwhelms us to the point where we cannot be the hero of our own life story, warrants a reflective moment or more to reevaluate the purpose of life.

Why are we here? Where are we going? What is my true origin? Levels of discovery in these questions take us on emotional journeys and religious quests to find the centering answers that allow us the psychological steadfastness to endure and prevail. Short or long, easy or hard the journey to discovery is often where we find ourselves as we proceed to the eventual destination.

Journeying despite the factors of fraught littering the path has revealed personally who I am and who I want to be as I walk along the way outcast at times from life. What is that, pray, tell? I am a child of God. He has sent me here to Earth. He has given me a home with parents and siblings. Now I am a parent with children kind and dear to me.

I started a journey to Utah that led me down a path to see the destination God revealed to me as the stepping stones to a greater recognition of living--who I needed to be at that point. The stones are firm, but the water from which they provide me a dry crossing is cold because often do I fall in and have to start the trek across the waters anew. Feeling failure, a good instructor, God shows me, being outcast is sometimes the means of finding out with a vengeance that I am one of His chosen if I will have Him.

I, Refugee - The Hero of My Life Story. I want you to know reader, that I was at the lowest point of discouragement I could be and still call myself a Christian when we started this Utah journey. This is the first installment of being trapped in Utah.

Street Contacting On Umtata's (Mthatha) Town Square. Missionary Stories.

One of the hottest days that I could remember is in February,  the middle of summer in South Africa! Being a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was one of the dreams of my life I fulfilled as I went about with Elders Thompson, Streadbeck, and Danisa doing community service at the medicine dispensary counting pills and putting them in bottles.

The city, Umtata (now Mthatha), was always alive with pedestrian activity in the center of town near the government buildings. We four headed there to do some street contacting to tell any interested passerby that we had a life-changing message to share.

Any and everybody who is anybody passed through that town center in front of the courthouse on business—at least once a week. So of course, it was the best place to open our mouths to the public.

As usual, we four prayed and separated to do our work. We always made sure we remained within earshot of each other, but on this particular day, earshot rules proved challenging to keep. Missionaries follow rules that protect them from things, kidnappings, and scandals in the local area that would cause the locals not to listen or trust them and the Church. The rules also help to keep the Church out of the news in the wrong ways due to the misbehavior of its representatives.

Street contacting was not one of the things I enjoyed doing because of the rejection that usually followed and how public and embarrassing those rejections could become. Being a new missionary at the time, I really did not want to be out there. Cold-calling with faces is what I called it--my face to another person's face who might spit in mine!

Remembering that I was there to share the truths that I had come to know because I loved God, I pressed forward. "Excuse me, sir," I said to a smartly dressed man walking in the courtyard in front of the Courthouse. "I am a missionary from the Church of--"

"I no English," was his brisk reply as he moved on dismissively.

"Excuse me, Sir," I said to the next man near me. "I have a message from the Lord!"

"You are so young to teach me emfana (young man)," the other man laughingly retorted before moving passed me with an incredulous smirk on his face. I hate rejection. 

Rejection was not so bad in Umtata (Mthatha). It came so infrequently because of the pleasant nature of the Xhosa people that I learned to look past it. Those who did accept my invitation were not precisely the ones I targeted. Black Americans did not frequent Umtata. I was a novelty. That little bit of celebrity would get attention as the people strained at my message only to get a chance to speak to a Black American.

I recorded their names and weeded them out by inviting them to Church. If they pitched up at Church, we would teach them the message we promised would bring them joy in life. The ones whom we targeted, capable men, I hesitated to pitch on occasion. We were discriminant of whom we tried to actively teach. Such discrimination was not due to any belief that boys, women, or girls would not add value to the Church. We proceeded that way so that we could find men with wives and children who could, as a family unit, explore the Gospel together. That was our goal, families. We targeted men because women tend to be more willing to seek out the missionaries on their own. The best way to get to whole families was through the husband, we determined. 

In this mode of discrimination, I found myself when I jolted at a sight. There I stood in a suit in the sweltering hot sun of South Africa when my estranged girlfriend walked up! At least that is who she reminded me of the moment I saw her. I spoke to her.

"Hello," She said. "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm sharing a message about Jesus Christ,” I returned overcoming my amazement. I saw two gentlemen pass by who looked as if they would speak to me, but saw I was engaged with this young woman of marital age and moved on. Frustration began to well up inside of me because this woman made it hard for me to think clearly.

"That is good,' she continued."I too am going about speaking of God and His word."

Deciding to make the best of this I said, "So what church do you belong to?"

"Jehovah’s Witness, I go to the Kingdom Hall"

Yes! I shouted within myself. If I tell her I'm a "Mormon," (though we prefer to be called members of the Church we belong to) she will run away in fear. "Really, I have an older brother in that church? I am a Mormon." She did not move.

“I attend The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Mormons.” Still, she did not move.

“What church is that?” she returned interrogatively. 

She had a smile on her face and she kept the sweat from her eyes with a white kerchief. I thought profoundly of my estranged love and how much I missed her; but also on my mind were the dozens of potential priesthood holders passing me by as I explained things to this woman, who looked like the woman I loved!

Also, Jehovah's Witnesses tended to not appreciate "Mormon" Missionaries in the United States. Apparently, that was not the case in the good old Republic of South Africa, RSA!

For some reason, my companion had not rescued me from this lengthy conversation with the girlfriend look-alike. The rule is if the conversation went too long, the other missionary would come and join the conversation or save the other from mobs, which Elder Thompson had to do several times for me. But he was engaged with someone too!

The purpose of this young woman was to convert me to her beliefs. I could tell after a few minutes. She and others of her faith were in the square competing for proselytes,, and I was the enemy. Her whole purpose was to keep me occupied as the others sought out candidates after she discovered I was in direct competition with her beliefs. 

“Elder Johnson," called Elder Thompson finally coming to my aid after the woman left.  "How come you did not end the conversation and move on?" I had moved out of his eyesight during my interview with the South African girlfriend doppelganger.

I shrugged it off, and he never let me too far from his sight again. I think I may have mentioned to him later how much that lady looked like my "waiting for me unofficially" girlfriend. I learned that day that polite conversation is good, unless you are a missionary, and the person you speak to is a replica of the woman whom you left in the States missing severely!

Moroni Saw Me

Moroni Saw Me: Hope is the essence of faith in things that are true. Through the challenges of life, a young boy journeys for peace, acceptance, and joy. The story is about budding faith that grows into the thriving flowers of hope with the guided hand of the divine. Rodric, the boy, finds challenges that seem constant with the loss of a loved one or the challenge of standing alone. 

Longing for a paternal relationship he never gets, Rodric finds his Father in God as he turns to Him for support. He goes through humorous experiences, daring adventures and near-fatal rendezvous all with the same goal in mind, hope in something more, which he finds! 

The boy grows into a man dealing with more love and loss and the realities of racism even in the face of religion. Finding faith alone is not enough urges him onward to discipleship as he suffers greatly to refine himself more to become like his Master Jesus Christ. 

Experience the passion, the joy, the journey and the hope of one man under the prophetic eye of Moroni, an ancient American prophet who provided the guide that led Rodric to Christ. Hope is the driving force of the human condition to reach for greatness. Will it last? Yes! Reach with him!

I, Donald Trump

I wasn't going to be public about this, but I changed my mind. When I went to the polls to vote for president, I received a strong impression to vote for Donald Trump. I did not do it. 

I do not think that I disliked any presidential candidate more than him. I did not like him as a person before he even considered running for president. He, and I must say it honestly, is a Jerk to me. HE IS A JERK!

There is no BUT in this. He is a jerk. I have no idea why I received a prompting to vote for him except I prayed that God would put the right person in the presidential office for the job. I agree with his moral stances on marriage and family--issues like abortion. I just don't like HIM!

I could not listen to that prompting. It might have been God trying to tell me not to judge the man for his past. It didn’t occur to me until I read on Facebook under one of my favorite authors views a responder who experienced the same thing I did. She was prompted to vote for Trump. I think she was able to follow through with it.  I am so prejudiced against him because of his behavior. When he is sworn into office, I will do my best to speak honorably of him, but I had to get it out that I hate his behavior. I am ashamed that he will represent me--especially if he does not shelve his bad behavior.

Why I did not Like Trump

I did not like Trump because I think he is rude, that's it. I do not dislike Bill Clinton, who is also a womanizer. Bill is not rude, though. I say all this because I am going to repent and pray that God helps me to not harbor so much contempt for this man.

I care that he might be racist. I care. I have lived, worked and worshiped with racist people my entire life. I expect people to be that way now. I have behaved that way on occasion. I think I dislike Trump so much because inside I am just like him and not man enough to admit it, even though I might have just done that. We often hate in others the weaknesses that are evident in ourselves.

It is really myself I Hate?

I do not celebrate such thoughts. If I am a racist, I Know I am working to change through the atonement of Jesus Christ, who will help me. Because I am a Black person, I can get away with writing this or saying it. I know I can because I have in the past. I want to say I DO NOT speak of any race in derision in public or private. I do, though. I joked about being Black in Church on Sunday! In church! I did the same thing about White people—knowing that my categorical statements were just jokes. But there is some truth behind every joke, whether it is my truth or a societal truth. So, I reflect on whether I genuinely harbor racist feelings toward Whites and others or even other Blacks—it is possible.  

I could not vote for Trump because I am like him, or what I assume him to be—a racist, misogynistic, jerk. If I am really that, then maybe I should cleanse my inner vessel more so that I can see Trump clear enough. I don’t want to dislike myself, so I project on a scapegoat other than THE SCAPEGOAT, Jesus.

Charity of the Believer

Now, I have to give Trump the same love as I give myself. Sometimes it is hard to want to live my life as a Christian. I do not abuse myself for fleeting thoughts or misplaced statements. Why should I insult Trump for misplaced words? I do my best to keep my opinions hidden from others so they will not dislike me. I don’t tell people who are ugly, stupid, nasty and such that they are those things because I care about how it makes them feel, even it I think it is true. Wrong.

I do say my thoughts sometimes. I put my foot in my mouth more than I care to admit. That is why I find myself smiling and making jokes so much. I am trying not to be taken seriously so that people will dismiss my words if I slip up.

My heart is still heavy because of what I did almost 20 years ago as a missionary in South Africa to another missionary who showed me a picture of his sister. I told him she was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. It was not right, and there is more to the story, but does that not sound like Donald Trump?

I have repented and begged that person’s forgiveness, but I have still not forgiven myself completely. That is why I cannot stand Donald Trump. He is just like me. Well, maybe not just like.

I am trying to change. Maybe Donald is too.

Minimum Wage Hikes Create the New Slavery: Poverty

In the great state of Arizona Proposition 206 passed which raises the minimum wage and dictates mandatory sick days for workers. I understand the mandatory sick days and agree with that part of the proposition.

http://www.abc15.com/

This IS wealth redistribution. The Government is trying to get the companies to cut costs in management instead of the little guy, the minimum wage earner. The problem with this is, why? I know as a business owner I would not keep my minimum wage laborers, my LEAST valued employees, at the expense of my income drivers--sellers, managers, supervisors, executives and such. Without them, there is no company! The reason why the minimum wage laborers are expendable is they have no value other than a cog in the machine to a company. Positions with minimum wage compensation are meant as platforms or springboards to higher paying and more important jobs. Move on, people! The minimum wage was not meant to be the end, but the beginning. I can replace minimum wage earners. They are NOT that important because they are easily irreplaceable.

As a Christian, it sounds harsh to admit that a person whose only contribution to the company is to mop floors or bag grocery is less important financially. It does not mean that they are less valuable as people—never. It means that the company values THEIR SERVICE less.

My arm is valuable to me. I would absolutely HATE to lose it under any circumstance because it would hurt and cripple my ability to do physical things. If I had to choose between keeping my arm or securing my life, goodbye arm! I can live with one arm, but I don’t want to do it. My arm is important to me. Employees are valuable to companies not matter their position, but some are more critical than others. I cannot live without my head. I cannot live without my nasal cavity or heart. Sure, there are EXCEPTIONS to the rule. People survive with brain matter missing. People have heart replacements. THE RULE, however, remains. Most will NEVER be exceptions.

As a business owner, which I am hoping to one day be, I would go overseas with my company if I could. I would not blame any business for leaving the States to keep costs down.

I do not believe in forced wealth redistribution. 

I even thought about cutting cost by asking the more valuable employees to take a pay decrease to keep the minimum wage workers who do the least desirable jobs. No. Just because I care about people does not mean I will stop rewarding my employees who merit it. I do NOT agree that people who lack the ambition to rise above their circumstances should get something for nothing. I do support taking a pay decrease to save the company when necessary. The proposition has created necessity by infringing on the efforts of business owners. That is the beginning of communism. Can someone remember the USSR, please!

I started watching undercover boss recently. Many people, good people are working in low paying jobs. They struggle to make ends meet, but they work. These people are stuck because of life circumstances, handicap, or tragedy. In this show, the leaders of the companies decided to improve things for their workers, not by mandate from the government. Now I understand why the Founding Fathers did not trust the American people to vote directly for the president of the United States. Thank God this is a republic and not a real democracy.

If I am not mistaken, South Africa is a true democracy. If they decide to become a kingdom, all they have to do is have a majority vote. Thank heaven we don’t have that here!

I am poor, disabled, and earning beneath my potential. But I will be damned if I want the government to pay me to stay mediocre or less. What message does that send my kids? Rewarding people who do not try to excel does not help them. It creates a people who think only to rise above if someone gives them a handout. People want to help people who help themselves because it shows that the investment in the person they helped will amount to something.

The Principle of Truth

The truth of the matter is a handout is sometimes needed. I know I have received many handouts. But if that is all there is, just a handout, a culture of entitlement rises and fewer people exist to drive the market. I am a Christian man who believes in helping people. A true follower of Christ will provide a shelter for the homeless, food for the hungry, clothes for the naked, and comfort for the weary. HOWEVER, not in perpetuity. Even Jesus requires us to repent to benefit from His sacrifice for us. Just because He has the Grace to give does not mean He will not allow people to go to hell who do not meet his qualifications for heaven.

We have made it harder in Arizona to support ourselves, our poor. All the prices will rise over time, but they don’t have too. We have become accustomed to the idea that inflation has to be! It does not. WE cause it to occur by electing the proposition to support inflation. The system does not have to increase. The dollar does not have to decrease. Unfortunately, I am only one voice.

I want to be wealthy one day. Whether I reach that goal or not, I don’t want the government or voters to infringe on my dreams. Alas, my words are tinkling in people’s ears. We have made the choice. Every person who has earned a pay increase above minimum wage has been slapped in the face whether they realize it or not.

All minimum wage earners are slaves to what the government thinks of them now. Only the government can help them rise up. The government CAN help, but it will destroy so many by hiking up the minimum wage. I believe in government involvement, but this is not good. We need to find a way to overturn this through the courts like same gender marriage propositions. I get to marry any adult human, but I cannot pay his or her worth in skills without the government deciding it for me. Seems unfair. Rant over.

Getting Personal With Christianity: Messages in Dreams

I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon be disappointed by a church leader who I esteem highly and should
be prepared for it.

I know that telling the interpretation of the dream before revealing the dream is not the way Joseph, the 11th son of Israel did, but I felt that I wanted to get it out of the way before I started talking about the dream and talking of dreams in general.

I believe that God communicates to us not only by feelings in our hearts, impressions to our minds, or direct speech but also through dreams and vision. Since both dreams and visions are highly subjective and colored by the culture in which we live, God provides an interpreter of dreams.

The Gift of the Holy Ghost
The gift of the Holy Ghost is the privilege—given to people who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ, been baptized, and been confirmed as members of the Church—to receive continual guidance and inspiration from the Holy Ghost.

How do I know my dream was from God? Well, it is simple. I have the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and I can discern if something pertaining to me is from God or just mental release of stored information, which is what dreams normally are.

I am not a prophet, nor do I claim special privilege that other people cannot have. I just know that the dream or the revelation has relevance to me and I am getting personal with my Christianity and sharing it here.

Also, I did meditate on it and inquired of God if it was okay for me to share my dream. I felt it would be okay. One thing I have learned when dealing with God is that He does not give me things if I cannot keep most of what is given sacred until I am instructed to share.

You know how crazy people would think I was if I shared everything that God gave to me? I am referring to other Christians who would think me insane--let alone the non-believers! If I say that God spoke to me last night, and I have before, I get the raised brow and the knowing nod.

If I say I felt like God was telling me something, I get approval--almost like if it came down to it I could recant it and say that I was mistaken without hurting my image or trying the faith of another person. I have misinterpreted things I have received too, but that is a different issue to be addressed.

God Always Does Things with Purpose.
God would not just give me a dream, an answer to a prayer, or commandment without there being a purpose behind it in some way towards my benefit and salvation. Now, that goes for everyone on the planet too.

Every revelation that is from God that humanity has the honor to read has come to us through necessity. Moses had his visions so that he could lead and teach the Israelites after hundreds of years of slavery to be a free people under God.

Joseph Smith had his visions to restore the Church of Christ on the earth with its accompanying priesthood authority from God. God waited on both men to be ready to receive His communications, as he does for all of us--He waits until we can handle it.

What we choose to do with the information after He gives it to us determines how much more He will give to us. The last thing He will do is overload us or overwhelm us with knowledge.

He wants us to be able to gain understanding, which is why I try unsuccessfully to live the Gospel perfectly. By that I mean, I don't repent each time I make a mistake right away; otherwise, I pray too much and ask for forgiveness to think I am going anywhere but Celestial Glory, but that is another topic.

What is the Dream! I know, I know...
There I was at the home of my stake president with my wife and kids. For some reason, we were there doing some type of activity with our families that I did not pay attention to very well. My wife and I were sitting in the same room with our stake president talking about some particular issue while the president had one of his small children, struggling with him to get the child to comply with some command. It looked like the child was resisting him as he tried to finish dressing him.

As I sat there listening to the president talk, he threw some mild profanity at the child. My wife then exclaimed an affectionate reprimand, "Oh, my Bishop."

She may have only said those words in the dream, but the president and I understood those three words to mean more. She preached a sermon of loving forgiveness and warning to try to be better.

In the dream, I understood her using the title of bishop instead of president since he was also our bishop before he became the stake president. It was a term of endearment so to speak. He understood the reprimand and apologized for using the language and my wife, and he moved on to discuss, whatever it was. I don't remember from the dream.

The president still struggled with the child who fought him on every angle. This same child spoke with us as an intelligent person but transformed between being a young child and an older one. He was very obstinate, but not wicked as I could tell from the feelings that came off of him.

The president let out a few strings of expletives, and I did not know how to receive him after that. I lowered my gaze away from him as he spoke further. My wife again reprimanded him in the words, "Oh, my Bishop!"

After speaking with us for some time, the president asked me, "Rod, what do you think?" He referred to the ongoing conversation we had of which I do not recall.

I reflected on his question for some time and then said. "I don't know. I can't get passed what you did. I cannot even make eye contact with you because I am so disappointed."

That was all I said, but since it was a dream, it was not all I communicated. In those words, I communicated that I was shocked that he would speak to his child in such a crude manner and yet expect me not to comment on it.

I communicated that I was ashamed and hurt by the experience because I was expected to view him still as a Christian leader to direct my spiritual paths. I communicated hurt and sheer shame!

He replied, "I understand and am glad that you were honest with your feelings."

That was all he said, but what I understood was him thanking me for being willing to point it out and be honest with him instead of glossing it over and having a bad experience later. He admitted to not being perfect and still struggling with life's issues though God had called him to be in the leadership position he held. He apologized sincerely and humbly sought my forgiveness, which I gave.

I left his home with my wife and family afterward feeling satisfied with him, but aware also that he was VERY human and in need of God's grace as much as anyone else.

That brings me back to:
I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon be disappointed by a church leader who I esteem highly and should be prepared for it.

The Lord gives multiple interpretations of Dreams and visions
After I thought about it for a while, I put myself in the position of the president and took all of that first impression out of my mind. One of my children became the me-character in the dream, but my wife remained the same.

I wonder if my children see me the way I saw the president in the dream. I wonder because they see all of me. They have seen me at my lowest and my best. I am their spiritual guide. The older they get, the more imperfections they see in me. I strive with my children to do what is right and often find myself doing wrong and having to repent, just like in the dream.

My wife is my eternal companion, and we are both more prone to be tolerant of each other than other people would be including our children who will eventually grow up and move away.

My wife and I forgive each other of each infraction because we understand life a little more than our children in many respects. My wife always forgives or accepts my imperfections with counsel, but continues to respect me as a righteous man of God willingly listening to my counsel as I listen to God.

Placing myself in the position of the president and my child in the position of my character may be the way I was supposed to see it. I know that I cannot hide my imperfections from my children, but I should be quick to apologize if I make a mistake and move to help the children learn from my mistakes and move on.

So, I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon disappoint one of my children and should be prepared for it.

• prepared to ask forgiveness. 
• prepared to let my children understand that I am in as much need of the grace of God as anyone. 

By doing those things then maybe when they grow up and leave my home to start their own families, they will note that I was a man of God, but also a human with faults who had to depend on the merit of Christ just as much as do they. They will leave my home satisfied that all will be well with them and me.

`

Getting Personal With Christianity: Overcoming Doubt

I never thought of prophets as perfect. The Book of Mormon even claims prophets are not perfect. I did not believe in Jesus as a God until I read the Book of Mormon since I had lost my faith as a young Christian--if I had faith at all back then. I suppose I had tradition and I accepted the things that were familiar to me.

Over and over, the prophets in the Book of Mormon claim that if there are mistakes in the record, they are errors of men. To me, that is an admission that there would be mistakes--that we should expect some! Joseph Smith, Mormon, Moroni and Nephi were all important men associated with the coming forth of the book to us. If they made mistakes how do they diminish God's role in revealing to them the truth? It does not change the fact, in my case, that I spoke to God about their work/writings and He told me that they are true, a true testament to the divinity of Jesus Christ.

God told me in answer to my prayers certain things. I care, but less what Joseph did before he became a prophet or how many wives he had. And? 

It kills my spiritual high sometimes when people find out that I am a LDS Christian and they say, “Well, you know that they don't like Black people." 

I want to say, "Really? I am so glad you told me that! I've been in this faith for more than twenty years, and I just could not tell! I just assumed they were nice to me because they were Christian, but know YOU let me know that they were pretending! Yeah, and all the Black Mormons had to be pretending a nice also since there are so many of them in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints now!"

Umm, yeah! The members of the church come in all the variety of humanity. I wish that I could say it and it be overwhelmingly accurate that because LDS claim to have the restored truth that it makes us better people. 
Who doesn't want to think their faith makes them the best? Humble people don't want to think that I suppose.  If anything, our faith makes us more accountable before God since we claim to have a direct line to God through a prophet, but people are people.  Israel had a direct line to God through prophets and look at what happened to then. They still worshiped false gods! 
People will be good or bad regardless of the religion. I hope that as Christians, we are more inclined to do good deeds rather. It has been my experience at the beginning of my walk with Christ that LDS earnestly endeavor to live the teachings of Christ. 
I have been a LDS Christian too long to assume someone will be nice to me just because we go to the same church. It is not the case. I have met people with racist ideas and notions. I have met rude people. I met these people in church!

So, do I believe that Mormons have been racist in the past and that some are still racist? Yes, I do believe that. Since when did being a disciple of Christ, mean that we are instantly perfect as a person, community or faith? It is not the church I am converted to per se, but the faith, the teachings of God through the imperfect people in the church.

People cannot accept that I asked God on many occasions about the church and His prophets and He tells me they are authorized to act and speak for Him. I trust God, so I accept the prophets as His official reps on the earth.

I still have my doubts and my issues about this or that doctrine or policy, which I speak about appropriately, but my purpose is to promote faith in others and challenge the things that make me doubt. I still have bouts with God about if He is there! I could see myself slip away from Him if I were to stop praying because then He becomes a distant memory and His revelations just the fanciful whimsy of my simple mind.

I choose not to indulge my doubts. I am sure President Thomas S Monson has issues that his family would confirm if they were inclined to do so. That would not change the fact that for me, God has told me Monson is a prophet. He, Monson, will have to repent of his sins just like I do, but he still represents the Lord officially as His spokesman.

Prophets can fall and lose their way just like any person, but they can also repent and be forgiven without losing their calling. They can also be wrong about something all the days of their lives and teach it as if it is right! That is the reason God gave us the Holy Ghost so that we can discern.  That is why we have 15 prophets instead of just one. We as a people have to learn to trust our personal revelation. We must also learn to keep the commandments so that we are not being led astray because the devil can give revelations too!

We are never to trust the prophet in a way that we exclude prayer and due devotion to God ourselves. If we did, it would be Satan’s plan: to follow blindly in obedience.

Apologists have the wrong idea. I used to be one before I came to my senses. I received such a convincing jolt to my misunderstanding of my faith that I rebooted. I found out that I knew only these two things: that God is real and the Book of Mormon is true. This happened post-mission 12 or so years ago.  Apologists rattled me to the core. I alarmed my wife and friends. They had warned me to stay away from it.

See, foolishly, I had stopped reading my scriptures much and praying with faith while I engaged in apologetics. I only wanted to debate with people about the LDS religion and its preeminence over all others. What rattled me was something that ended up being false anyway! I was just so far from my relationship with God my mind was weak. Doubt worked its way into my mind. Apologetics is great if it is tempered by sincere faith.

We do not NEED to prove the faith or make exceptions for it. I find it comforting that there are people willing to give intellectual explanations for things that are not clear. Those exercises on intellect should never replace sincere and abiding faith in Jesus Christ on a foundation of keeping the commandments He has provided.

Faith is to believe in the absence of proof, which comes with revelation after the trial of our faith. I can promise any of you who are struggling with your faith that read this blog that if you keep the commandments prayerfully, God will reveal the truth to you as many times as you need it.

He set it up this way so that we would seek Him. I know I would not pray as often if I had all the answers right now. What need would I have to talk to Him or develop an open communication with Him at all? It is hard! I have to put my remote down and stop entertaining myself to do that!

There is no proof of any religious belief other than personal revelation. God designed life that way so that we can have the freedom to pursue the gospel or reject it without condemnation if we lose sight of the truth.

For example, we know the law gravity exists, so if we jump off a building expecting it to go away, we will suffer the immediate consequences. It is not so with the gospel. If we choose to leave the gospel level of consciousness we espouse, Mormon, Baptist, Muslim, spiritualism, etc., we lose a little bit of our testimony at a time until it is all gone. We are not doomed to outer darkness but only to a lower kingdom which is still a part of heaven if we fail to repent. Atheists, in my estimation, still go to heaven! Devil worshipers still go to heaven!

I find comfort knowing I can still mess up and get a great reward. I have not seen God, so I do not qualify for outer darkness. But, oh boy for those who have seen Him and decided to reject Him afterward. There are few people with that reward. Nephi lets us know that the hell they will endure exists only for them, and the devil.

So, it is okay for you all to have your doubts. Just, doubt your doubts more than you doubt the things you know. Since many of us still have not seen God face to face, we can get away with more. However, since some of us have heard His voice, we need to think hard how we dismiss past spiritual experiences.

Mormonism is a culture, but the gospel is more than a culture, it is the truth, and I would give up all my heritage and cultures for that.

Getting Personal With Christianity: Joseph Smith II

December 23, 1805 in Sharon, Vermont, Lucy Mack and Joseph Smith Senior welcomed Joseph Smith Junior into mortality. I reflect on the mission of Joseph Smith each year on that day. Joseph Smith II was the man who the Lord saw fit to visit, along with His Son Jesus Christ, to usher in the fullness of times, or the complete restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ before the Second Advent of Jesus Christ, this time as King of kings and Lord of lords.

Joseph was a 14-year-old boy who had the faith to go to the Lord in prayer and receive an answer based on scripture he read from the Holy Bible. He was the prophet whom I had been looking for when I so foolishly decided to give up on Christianity. He is the prophet I discovered so miraculously after I read a book of scripture that he translated. A book that facilitated my conversion to Christ. I owe my faith in God, my Christianity, and all the blessings available to me and millions of others to the willingness of Joseph Smith Junior to follow God.

Let it be said of him the vilest and untoward things, as will be said and has been said, I record of him now that I know of divine knowledge that he did see God the Father and Jesus Christ in answer to his prayer as he claims he did. He also saw angels who ministered to him and he conversed with Jesus Christ about his salvation as his several accounts record.

I know it because God sent His Spirit to me, who spoke by the mouth of an angel, revealed it to me, and constantly reassures me that what He revealed to me is true. Without going into my personal account too much, when the missionaries revealed his vision to me, I also saw in vision Joseph Smith seeing God the Father and Jesus Christ. Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery received the priesthood authority to baptize and, eventually, to organize the Church of Christ as the authorized entity on Earth to transport the souls of men on the sown the Covenant Path of Jesus Christ back into the presence of God the Father.

As a disciple of Christ and a member of The Church ofJesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Christian, I lend my witness that God has restored His authority to Earth. I testify I am a partaker in the Covenant and that the Atonement of Christ is effective in my life. I testify that through Jesus Christ only can salvation come to humanity—something I came only to know through reading The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. Why do I add that here? It is the only reason I found God because a 14-year-old boy knew to ask Him a question that led to the tool that converted me to Jesus Christ. It is the most important event in my life because all other events hang onto the witness I received of Jesus Christ from reading that book. Joseph Smith Jr. is important to me. I think about that on the 23^rd of December.

Other Articles

• The African Heritage of The Book of Mormon
  The obvious connection to Africa is the language.
• To Repent Or Not To Repent
• This essay uses a hook-line from a song by Counting Crows to explore how we can deal with all the "if onlys" of life.
• What Does It Mean To Repent?
  To repent is to turn away from, turn your back to a particular sin. What does it mean to turn away from something? This isn’t about actions and behavior; it’s about your character.
• Become like a Little Child: Teachings of King Benjamin
  In order to become one of God's chosen people or a saint Benjamin expresses that all MUST deny, put off, reject--or any other word of separation--the natural or basic man.

Getting Personal With Christianity # 8: I Trust Dreams

I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon be disappointed by a church leader who I esteem highly and should be prepared for it.

Akiane Kramarik vision of Jesus

I know that telling the interpretation of the dream before revealing the dream is not the way Joseph the 11th son of Israel did it, but I felt that I wanted to get it out of the way before I started talking about the dream and talking of dreams in general.

I believe that God communicates to us not only by feelings in our hearts, impressions to our minds, or direct speech, but also through dreams and vision. Since both dreams and visions are highly subjective and colored by the culture in which we live, God provides an interpreter of dreams.

The Gift of the Holy Ghost

The gift of the Holy Ghost is the privilege—given to people who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ, been baptized, and been confirmed as members of the Church—to receive continual guidance and inspiration from the Holy Ghost.

How do I know my dream was from God? Well, it is simple. I have the Gift of the Holy Ghost and I can discern if something pertaining to me is from God or just mental release of stored information, which is what dreams normally are.

I am not a prophet, nor do I claim special privilege that other people cannot have. I just know that the dream, or I will write revelation has relevance to me and I am getting personal with my Christianity and sharing it here. 

I did meditate on it and inquired of God if it was okay for me to share my dream. I felt it would be okay. One thing I have learned when dealing with God is that He does not give me things if I cannot keep most of what He gives to myself. ...unless He expressly wants what He gives shared.

You know how crazy people would think I was if I shared everything that God gave to me? I am referring to other Christians too, who would think me insane--let alone the non-believers! If I say that God spoke to me last night, and I have before, I get the raise brow and the knowing nod. 

If I say I felt like God was telling me something, I get approval--almost like if it came down to it I could recant it and say that I was mistaken about my impression without hurting my image or trying the faith of another person. I have misinterpreted things I have received too, but that is a different issue to be addressed.

God Always Does Things with Purpose.

God would not just give me a dream, answer to a prayer, or commandment without there being a purpose behind it in some way towards my benefit and salvation. Now, that goes for everyone on the planet too. 

Every revelation that is from God that humanity has the honor to read or hear has come to us through necessity. Moses had his visions so that he could lead and teach the Israelites after hundreds of years of slavery to be a free people under God.

Joseph Smith had his visions to restore the Church of Christ on the earth with its accompanying priesthood authority from God. God waited on both men to be ready to receive His communications, as he does for all of us--He waits until we can handle it.

What we choose to do with the information after He gives it to us determines how much more He will give to us. The last thing He will do is overload us or overwhelm us with knowledge.

He wants us to be able to gain understanding, which is why I try unsuccessfully to live the Gospel perfectly. By that I mean, I don't repent each time I make a mistake right away; otherwise, I pray too much and ask for forgiveness to think I am going anywhere but Celestial Glory, but that is another topic.

What is the Dream!  I know, I know...

There I was at the home of my stake president with my wife and kids. For some reason we were there doing some type of activity with our families that I did not pay attention to very well.  My wife and I were sitting in the same room with our stake president talking about some particular issue while the president had one of his small children, struggling with him to get the child to comply with some command. It looked like the child was resisting him as he tried to finish dressing him.

As I sat there listening to the president talk, he threw some mild profanity at the child. My wife then exclaimed an affectionate reprimand, "Oh, my Bishop." 

She may have only said those words in the dream, but the president and I understood those three words to mean more. She preached a sermon of loving forgiveness and warning to try to be better. 

In the dream I understood her using the title of bishop instead of president since he was also our bishop before he became the stake president. It was a term of endearment so to speak. He understood the reprimand and apologized for using the language and my wife and he moved on to discuss, whatever it was. I don't remember from the dream.

The president still struggled with the child who fought him on every angle. This same child spoke with us as an intelligent person, but transformed between being a young child and an older one. He was very obstinate, but not wicked as I could tell from the feelings that came off of him.

The president let out a few strings of expletives and I did not know how to receive him after that. I lowered my gaze away from him as he spoke further. My wife again reprimanded him in the words, "Oh, my Bishop!"

After speaking with us for some time, the president asked me, "Rod, what do you think?" He referred to the ongoing conversation we had of which I do not recall. 

I reflected on his question for some time and then said. "I don't know. I can't get passed what you did. I cannot even make eye contact with you because I am so disappointed."

That was all I said, but since it was a dream, it was not all I communicated. In those words I communicated that I was shocked that he would speak to his child in such a crude manner and yet expect me not to comment on it. 

I communicated that I was ashamed and hurt by the experience because I was expected to still view him as a Christian leader to direct my spiritual paths. I communicated hurt and sheer shame!

He replied, "I understand and am glad that you were honest with your feelings."

That was all he said, but what I understood was him thanking me for being willing to point it out and be honest with him instead of glossing it over and having a bad experience later. He admitted to not being perfect and still struggling with life's issues though God had called him to be in the position he held. He apologized sincerely and humbly sough my forgiveness, which I gave.

I left his home with my wife and family afterwards feeling satisfied with him, but aware also that he was VERY human and in need of God's grace as much as anyone else.

That brings me back to:

I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon be disappointed by a church leader who I esteem highly and should be prepared for it.

The Lord gives multiple interpretations of Dreams and visions

After I thought about it for a while, I put myself in the position of the president and took all of that first impression out of my mind. One of my children became the “me-character” in the dream but my wife remained the same. 

I wonder if my children see me the way I saw the president. I wonder because they see all of me. They have seen me at my lowest and at my best. I am their spiritual guide. The older they get, the more imperfections they see in me.

My wife is my eternal companion and we are both more prone to be tolerant of each other than other people would be including our children who will eventually grow up and move away. 

My wife and I forgive each other of each infraction because we understand life a little more than our children in many respects.

Maybe I was supposed to see it that way also. I know that I cannot hide my imperfections from my children, but I should be quick to apologize if I make a mistake and move to help the children learn from my mistakes and move on. 

So, I dreamed a dream that caused me to think that I will soon disappoint one of my children and should be prepared for it. 

...prepared to ask forgiveness. 

...prepared to let my children understand that I am in as much need of the grace of God as anyone.

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