Getting Personal With Christianity: I, Donald Trump...
I wasn't going to be public about this, but I changed my mind. When I went to the polls to vote for president, I received a strong impression to vote for Donald Trump. I did not do it. I do not think that I disliked any presidential candidate more than him. I did not like him as a person before he even considered running for president. He, and I must say it honestly, is a Jerk to me. HE IS A JERK!
There is no BUT in this. He is a jerk. I have no idea why I received a prompting to vote for him except I prayed that God would put the right person in office for the job. I agree with his moral stances on marriage and family--issues like abortion. I just don't like HIM!
I could not listen to that prompting. It might have been God trying to tell me not to judge the man for his past. It didn’t occur to me until I read on Facebook under one of my favorite authors views a responder who experienced the same thing I did. She was prompted to vote for Trump. I think she was able to follow through with it. I am so prejudiced against him because of his behavior. When he is sworn into office, I will do my best to speak honorably of him, but I had to get it out that I hate his behavior. I am ashamed that he will represent me--especially if he does not shelve his bad behavior.
I did not like Trump because I think he is rude, that's it. I do not dislike Bill Clinton, who is also a womanizer. Bill is not rude, though. I say all this because I am going to repent and pray that God helps me to not harbor so much contempt for this man.
I care that he might be racist. I care. I have lived, worked and worshiped with racist people my entire life. I expect people to be that way now. I have behaved that way on occasion. I think I dislike Trump so much because inside I am just like him and not man enough to admit it, even though I might have just done that. We often hate in others the weaknesses that are evident in ourselves.
I do not celebrate such thoughts. If I am a racist, I Know I am working to change through the atonement of Jesus Christ, who will help me. Because I am a Black person, I can get away with writing this or saying it. I know I can because I have in the past. I want to say I DO NOT speak of any race in derision in public or private. I do, though. I joked about being Black in Church on Sunday! In church! I did the same thing about White people—knowing that my categorical statements were just jokes. But there is some truth behind every joke, whether it is my truth or a societal truth. So, I reflect on whether I truly harbor racist feelings toward Whites and others or even other Blacks—it is possible.
I could not vote for Trump because I am like him, or what I assume him to be—a racist, misogynistic, jerk. If I am really that, then maybe I should cleanse my inner vessel more so that I can see Trump clear enough. I don’t want to dislike myself, so I project on a scapegoat other than THE SCAPEGOAT, Jesus.
Now, I have to give Trump the same love as I give myself. Sometimes it is hard to want to live my life as a Christian. I do not abuse myself for fleeting thoughts or misplaced statements. Why should I abuse Trump for misplaced words? I do my best to keep my opinions hidden from others, so they will not dislike me. I don’t tell people who are ugly, stupid, nasty and such that they are those things because I care about how it makes them feel, even it I think it is true. Wrong.
I do say my thoughts sometimes. I put my foot in my mouth more than I care to admit. That is why I find myself smiling and making jokes so much. I am trying not to be taken seriously so that people will dismiss my words if I slip up.
My heart is still heavy because of what I did almost 20 years ago as a missionary in South Africa to another missionary who showed me a picture of his sister. I told him she was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. It was not true, and there is more to the story, but does that not sound like Donald Trump?
I have repented and begged that person’s forgiveness, but I have still not forgiven myself completely. That is why I cannot stand Donald Trump. He is just like me. Well, maybe not just like.
I am trying to change. Maybe Donald is too.
Posted by Rodric Johnson
Labels: acceptance, african american, black, christian, Christianity, Donald, forgiveness, president, Trump
Rodric Anthony Johnson was born in the bustling city of Rochester, New York in the wintry month of November. Being migrant by nature, his family uprooted and moved to the Southeast. He now lives in the Southwest in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife and kids. He is looking to make sure his family is stable in on spot for a while.